In discussions, the act of shifting the criteria for agreement during a debate is a common manipulative tactic, especially prevalent in unhealthy relationships. This behavior, often observed in individuals with narcissistic traits, involves continually altering the standards of what constitutes success or acceptability in an argument, thereby preventing the other party from ever “winning” or achieving resolution. For example, if a person is criticized for consistently being late, and they then arrive on time, the critic might then claim their punctuality is performative or that they were late in the past, thus invalidating any progress made.
This argumentative strategy serves multiple purposes for the individual employing it. It maintains control over the situation, avoids accountability, and reinforces a sense of superiority. Historically, such tactics have been recognized as forms of psychological manipulation within interpersonal dynamics. The consequences for the person subjected to this behavior can include feelings of frustration, confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion. The consistent inability to satisfy the ever-changing demands erodes self-esteem and hinders genuine communication.
